Self-Control: Gates and Crowley

Sgt. James Crowley and Henry Louis Gates Jr. have become the source of ceaseless public discussion in the last few days. Both men were in a stressful situation. Both men got angry. Both men probably misjudged the other. Both felt so certain of the prejudices of the other that they became too offended to admit any misjudgment on their own part. Either could have ended the situation by simply calming down. Instead it escalated and now their argument is at the center of a media circus.

While race is still an issue in America, I think the real issue that needs to be discussed now is self-control. Two adults, who both should have known better, let their hurt feelings take over and lost control of themselves. The officer had all the real power in the incident. He had the authority and the weapon and he was up against an irritable small man who walked with a cane. He represented the people of the state, and he should have been more professional. Once he realized the error and that Gates wanted him out of the house he should have bit his tongue, apologized, and left. Since the incident Gates has had the power, since he is a famous man who knows the president and has the ear of the media. He is supposed to represent thoughtful academia. Since the incident he has used his influence to insult officer Crowley's character and motives. Crowley has responded in kind. Both men still refuse to back down. The issue at stake now is pride and ego. Both are willing to damage the reputation of whites and blacks, academics and police in order to win this battle of wills without apologizing.

I am trying to teach my toddler self-control. As a one-year old he responds to not getting his way by screaming and throwing things. It is childish behavior because he is a child. I hope to raise him to become young man with self-discipline so that even when he is misjudged or insulted he will not loose control and let himself mistreat others. This is what we should expect of any mature adult.

Race and misuse of power in America are being debated non-stop in this case. While these are issues worth discussion, the more important issue is that our nation is full of adults who are unwilling or unable to practice self-control. A police officer and an honored professor should both be acting like men not boys.

He's Not White Or Black

All the recent media coverage celebrating our “first black president” makes me recall an interesting article in the Washington Post entitled He's Not Black.

Being in a interracial marriage and raising an interracial son, debates on ethnic identity sparked by Obama's election have a sense of urgency to me. How do I raise my son to be himself when society cannot decide what he is?

Barack Obama calls himself “Black” although his mother was a white woman from Kansas. He has brown skin and coarse hair. He identifies himself as what he looks like rather than what he is. Obama was raised during a time of racial tension in America when those with mixed heritage were often stuck in a cultural no-man's-land. In a sense he was forced to pick a side. In his book “Dreams From My Father” he says that he felt as a young man that people that identified themselves as interracial were betraying their fellow blacks as just “ordinary niggers.” (His words)

That young man eventually got his bearings and achieved greatness. The America that elected him president is very different than the one into which he was born. The political tensions surrounding race have dissipated, something America seems to have only fully realized once a brown-skinned man became president. Cultural assumptions based on ethnicity, however, are as prevalent as ever. Jamie Foxx commented at an inaugural ball that Obama's dance moves were proof “we definitely have a black president.” We are right to assume that culture and upbringing have an effect on a person, but it is absurd when we assign cultural identities to a people just because of their skin. Obama was raised by a white Kansan mother in Indonesia, but that doesn't matter. He is just “black.” You are what you appear to be.

It is this racial destiny assigned by looks that gave me anxiety when my wife was pregnant. I wondered how I a white man would raise a son that was identified by everyone as a black man. An unusual genetic shuffle, however, produced the opposite of what I anticipated. If Barack Obama is black, then my son is certainly white. His skin is lighter than mine and his hair is very straight. Even thought he looks just her, people seem to assume his beautiful, black mother is his babysitter. Throughout his life people will think he is white and make assumptions about him based on assigning him to this racial group.

My son may be light-skinned but he is not white nor do I want him to be. Obama may be dark-skinned but he is not black even though he calls himself that. Even the American categories of “white” and “black” are imprecise groupings of people of many ethnicities that where artificially created to justify slavery and segregation. It is true that culture and family affect an individual, but assigning culture based on skin tone is backward. Perhaps eons ago when humans rarely moved one could make accurate judgments about lineage and culture just by looking at a person's features, but in our interconnected world assumptions based on skin are more likely to mislead than inform.

Obama described his first innocent encounters with the world when “I was too young to realize I needed a race.” He doesn't need a race, nor does my son. Nor does anyone. A person's physical description doesn't necessitate a cultural classification. My son will probably always be fair-skinned, but that doesn't make him white and it definitely doesn't make him less his mother's child. He is who he is, and he can be proud of all of his heritage without having to pick or have one assigned to him.

The Washington Post wrote “We are racially sophisticated enough to elect a non-white president, and we are so racially backward that we insist on calling him black. Progress has outpaced vocabulary.” Racism may be nearly eradicated but Race with all its presumptions and misjudgments is alive and well. We can discuss our cultures and bodies without needing to draw these artificial lines between us. I hope my son is proud of all of his family and his heritage. He doesn't need to claim a color in order to have identity. He is himself and that should be enough.

Christmas and its Discontents

I had been irritable recently because I worked so much around Christmas. Time with my family and friends have been in such short supply recently, and I had so little during the holidays.

My dissatisfaction made me more sensitive to the general unhappiness of this season. The quiet discontentedness of people I see in my office in December is overwhelming. One patient put it bluntly: “Christmas is depressing.”

This unhappiness is not due to the materialism that ads try to sell each holiday. Not one of my miserable patients was obsessed with presents or possessions. It is the wholesome things about Christmas that create the misery: the peace, joy, and family happiness. None of these things happen much in real people's lives.

Against this shinny myth of merriness real holidays seem so ugly. Modern Christmas is a microcosm of our American Dream: an expectation that harmony and happiness will always be our natural state. As a result we are miserable when we discover that our own lives and families fall short of our expectations. Materialism never destroyed the wholesome holidays. Ravenous buying is the degrading way we seek consolation once we realize the “perfect Christmas” we hoped for was a lie.

If we expected Christmas to be merry it is because we misunderstood the celebration. Christ was born because we are always so far away from hope and wholeness. Even the most jolly of families hides flaws, cruelty, and contradiction. These blemishes are most obvious when we try to manufacture a joyful occasion. Christ was born on Christmas day to save us from ourselves. We should rejoice because he came. We rejoice because He died for us, not because we imagine our lives or families to be anything worth celebrating in themselves.

A Tragic Mulatto

While my overwhelming feeling about our son we expect to be born this summer is joy, I have also have some of the self doubt that likely affects all new parents. One particular concern is the complexity of race my son will face:

Why is the biracial child always supposed to be a tragedy stuck between two worlds? Historically it was typically the white parents that hid these inconvenient results of affairs (Strom Thurman). Now the typical scene is older white grandparents raising a mixed child after the dissolution of the relationship that brought it about. Certainly the acceptance of these children that were once viewed as proof of the crime of miscegenation (or even rape) has improved in recent decades, but they are still often viewed as problematic in-between people. While the virulence of Racism (the belief that race makes a person superior or inferior to others) has become exceedingly rare, the problems of race in America—prejudice, misunderstanding, inequality, resentment, interpretation of history—are far from resolved. Here in Clarke County, Georgia there is still a palpable division between black and white populations. While much of racial integration in the United States may be producing a melting pot, here it still quite obvious on a drive through Athens that “haves” and “have nots” are still mostly divided by race.


So I will be a white father to a son that everyone will usually identify as African American. He will be biracial, but in most people's minds that will count him as black (eg: Haley Berry and Barack Obama both have one Caucasian parent). He will carry the cultural weight of expectations based solely on his skin color. He will have people expect him to be somehow better at sports, more sexual, cooler, tougher, more rhythmic, and less interested in learning. These are the expectations (even admirations) that our society puts on black boys. He will be informed by people that barely know him that he has been wronged by crimes committed years before his birth, and because of this he must act or identify himself in way to amend these ills. He will be told by others that he must be a individual, and any identification with any ethnicity or appeal to his unique dilemmas as a biracial man is nothing but weakness or whining.


But what will his father tell him? I am a product of my own place and I have never known many of the pressures my son will face. I wish I could say that my own experience of interracial marriage has helped me “figure out” the complex and often unspoken rules and taboos of race in today's America, but I have no great wisdom to offer my son.


What he will have for certain is two parents who know themselves and will love each other and him deeply. Beyond the self-knowledge he will have from the experience of his home, I'm not sure he will have much education on the confusing situation he will inherit. I suppose like most children he will have to figure out his identity on his own.

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Defending Domestic Rights

A "modest proposal" for defending domestic freedoms...

AMERICANS FOR DOMESTIC RIGHTS

Domestic choices are deeply personal and often agonizing. Imagine how much more traumatic these choices must be when the government threatens to invade every home’s privacy and condemn responsible household-heads as a criminals for personal choices made within private households!

As Americans our domestic rights are profoundly important to us. Our homes become expressions of who we are. For many years American adults have enjoyed domestic freedoms. The autonomy of our domestic space is personal and sacred. We have assumed our homes to be as safe from desecration by outsiders as our own bodies. Many American adults even allow minor dependents to develop within the inner-sanctum of their domestic space. Each adult chooses how to manage his or her own home environment, and all such choices are deeply private. Americans appreciate the diversity of domestic expressions individuals choose for their lives.

In recent years, however, domestic rights foes who aim to usurp individuals’ private domestic choices and replace them with state-mandated moral codes have been gaining a foothold in government. Every American’s domestic freedoms now stand in jeopardy! Right now there are opponents of domestic rights in Congress who seek to label men and women’s personal choices as “morally intolerable” and “child abuse” and use that excuse to give the government the right to invade your private domestic space. Their anti-privacy agenda even goes so far as requesting that neighbors and health care workers become informants, reporting individuals’ personal home choices to governmental agencies that would have the authority to invade your home if your domestic choices on the management of your pre-adults doesn’t conform to official state-legislated morals.

Moralist zealots and political special interests seek to thwart the private choices of responsible adults and subvert your domestic freedoms to the alleged rights of dependent domestic minors, although the law does not recognize them as developed enough to be adults, and study after study has established that most minors (particularly the younger pre-adults) are incapable of self-sustainment independent of a domestic environment.

As the government ominously threatens to legislate puritanical morality and restrict even more domestic freedoms, many Americans do not speak up because they themselves would not choose to roughly handle or terminate their own domestic minors. What well-meaning Americans must realize is that criminalization of any adult's choices in the inner-sanctum of his or her own home is a violation of the privacy and domestic rights of every one of us! If we stand by silently the Constitutional right to privacy, the right to own property, the freedom to choose, and the protection against unlawful searches and seizures will be completely eroded in order to legislate the scruples of religious fanatics, social extremists, and special interest groups.

Please stand up for your courageous fellow Americans who even today face public humiliation, confiscation of their private homes and minors, and even imprisonment for exercising their right to make difficult domestic decisions! Educate yourself and those around you about your constitutional domestic rights and the ongoing crusade by politicians and special interests to restrict those rights. Let people know that you trust American adults to make domestic choices without government violating their homes. Write your congressman or congresswoman to let them know that you support domestic rights and urge them to oppose any legislation that would allow the government to dictate the personal choices of men and women in the privacy of their own homes. Join Americans for Domestic Rights today and let you voice be heard!

My home.
My choices.

Americans in the Modern World

Americans have always been a reactionary people. We have always reacted strongly to the world, and stirred strong reactions from the world. I don’t think we have quite realized that the modern world with its ills is mostly a creation of our unique republic. Perhaps one of the most interesting things about Americans is how we react to each other, blaming each other for the way the world has become. I jotted down a few impressions about regional America in a gridbook after a road trip a few years back:

Northeasterners despise the modern world in which they live. They see nothing better to do than make money and engage each other in class warfare. They wear black and carry themselves like Europeans, avoiding eye contact with strangers.

The people of the West Coast try to ignore the modern world by creating an imaginary world. They love Mother Earth, technological virtual realities, and produce most of the country's pornography. They try to avoid negative thoughts and trust psychotherapists.

Southerners try to acknowledge the modern world as little as possible, preferring culture that resembles the medieval. Southerners read historical novels, fly offensive Confederate flags, and sing songs that praise "old time religion." They are sentimental, hot-blooded, and irresponsible.

Midwesterners just can't figure out what is wrong with the rest of the country. The Midwesterners don't have problems with the modern world. They can grow up, get a job, get married, and grow old and senile in the modern world without causing such a bothersome fuss. They live where the country is flat. They live with neither mountains nor trees.

9/11 Before and After

These are two pieces written before and after 9/11. It is not often that we are able to see our own darkest imaginings take place in the real world:

3/11/01 (Before)

I am sick of the TV, of the internet, of the radio, of the people I meet. I am sick of constantly being solicited for one thing or another. I am sick of the wealth-generating, mass-marketing juggernaut that has taken over our culture. I am sick of being reminded that working at the homeless clinic is advantageous because it will look good to residencies and make me feel proud of myself. I am sick of the idea that every interaction must boost my pleasure / entertainment / self-esteem / net-worth / sex-appeal / market value. Is there anything genuine left without a dollar amount attached?

Life / Love / Freedom / Faith / Sex / Anger / Fear / Happiness: all bought and sold like grade-D meat these days. Sure there are "some things money can't buy," we used to believe that. We told ourselves the world wouldn't affect us, but look at us now. Everybody's got their soul for sale to the highest bidder of money / pleasure / love / whatever. Nothing is genuine. Nothing is honest. Nothing is selfless.

I fear the best thing for us would be a humiliation and destruction. Perhaps a people as ruthless and narcissistic as ourselves will attack us... kill us by the thousands and rob us blind. As horrible as it sounds it may be the only way to save us from ourselves. We will never repair things ourselves (although we often say we will--and sell the idea for cheap thrills and votes) because we have become addicted to our own decay.

November 2001 (After)
*Written in the same page of my gribook as the above:

Exactly six months later to the day was one of the bloodiest days in our history. Ruthless people leveled our towers... and we watched on TV for shock entertainment. Then we created a war for an even bigger television event. Watching someone else's sons in the special forces risk their lives is even more exciting than seeing 3000 bankers and MBAs go down in a towering inferno!

We took the fact that evil men had targeted us as a sure sign of God's blessing on us. "God must approve of our selfishness. Gluttony and greed are now sure signs of freedom and virtue. Suddenly it is heroic to rescue our sacred economic prosperity by consuming even more luxuries. Send the special forces overseas to fight on television, and I'll do my duty by doing the Christmas shopping in my gas-guzzling SUV!"

We are not capable of justice or even sustained hatred. We only redouble our relentless pursuit of wealth and entertainment. We didn't even stop to think about examining our own souls. We seem to have forgotten that the terrorists only did what we had been longing to do in our own self-loathing. No instead we are now quite certain that divine justice has spoken in favor of our greedy pleasures.

If these last few months were unable to constrain us... I fear we are beyond saving. May God have mercy on our souls.

"The New World"

I don't plan to make it a common occurrence to put my movie reviews on this blog. I want this blog to be about interesting ideas, and not just some random conglomeration of my personal tastes. That being said, however, I find this particular film so thought-provoking and such a powerful work of art that I feel comfortable discussing it here.

If you haven't seen "The New World" you really should watch it as soon as is possible. It is one of the most fascinating films I have ever seen, and perhaps the most beautifully filmed. I have seen it twice now. Like most films by Terrence Malick (director of “The Thin Red Line”) its depth and meaning grows with each viewing. This movie seems to have unfortunately suffered from its own advertising. Many people who went expecting a historical romance along the lines of "Braveheart," encountered a film so subtle and profound it didn't make sense to them. Reviews were mediocre. It floundered in theaters. (Most people expecting a comic strip might find a painting by Rembrandt disappointing.) And yet I would have to say this is the best film I have ever seen.

It has a subtle beauty and profound way of watching its characters that is unlike any film you have likely ever seen. There are only about 100 lines of dialog in the entire film. The rest is simply watching. Never has watching interactions or gestures of the characters reenacting history been so engrossing. The film only briefly plays with myths like the “noble savage” or the “welcoming Pocahontas” only to show its characters to be deeper and more complex imaginations that the audience must interpret themselves. It is always watching… watching the complex interplay of new cultures… watching the years pass… watching people rise and fall then rise again. Most of it has no words at all. (Not in the dull independent film way of watching people doing nothing and calling it art, but in a way that is obviously meaningful and understandable in spite of its depth.) It is told less like a narrative and more like the way someone might remember the events of their life. “The New World” is about people in the midst of great change. It will resound with tragedy and beauty long after the petty political dramas of this year’s Oscars are forgotten.

Watch this film with an open mind and you will find an artistic treasure well worth watching again and again.